We all live within boundaries, because that’s the way life is. They are put in place to keep us from overstepping the mark, and doing the wrong thing. These boundaries are usually called “rules and regulations” and we have to abide by them or face the consequences.
However, when it comes to personal boundaries, then we are looking at something totally different, for these personal boundaries involve physical, emotional and mental limitations you live behind every day. These boundaries are often viewed as safety zones, and keep you within what is known, rather than have you enter the unknown beyond the boundary. In saying that, there are times when these boundaries need to be crossed, so you can move forward and be more progressive in your life.
So let’s have a look at some examples of what personal boundaries might involve …
Let’s start with a physical boundary. One boundary, in particular, could be the lack of trust you have in your physical body that it has the skills needed to be on a team. So instead of participating in the sport you love, you sit on the sidelines and become a spectator. In this instance, the boundary you needed to cross was the belief in yourself. Your physical body would then have acted on this belief.
Then there’s the physical boundary of being unhealthy. When you keep telling yourself you just need to find a way to become motivated, but somehow it just doesn’t happen. Your boundary in this example is your need to stay within the comfort of your lifestyle. This physical boundary is usually connected to emotions.
Now emotional boundaries can often be the hardest to cross. Many of these boundaries are built in the early, formative years of someone’s life. But they can also be created later on in life following one or more traumatic events, which can change the way someone sees themselves and the world around them. Emotional boundaries can be quite debilitating. Preventing the person from being confident, happy and motivated. A lack of self-worth keeps the person from moving beyond the boundary.
If you want to go past emotional boundaries, you will have to go beyond memory. The power within the memory is what is holding someone hostage. You cannot eliminate the memory, but what you can do is release the power within that memory, enabling yourself to move forward in your life.
This brings us to mental boundaries. That’s when you are not open to changing what you think and believe. You are stuck in a cycle of your own thoughts. The world has to change around you to accommodate what you know to be right. People who have strong mental boundaries can often become quite challenging and aggressive if they come across someone else who will not yield to their way of thinking.
The greatest builder of mental boundaries are ‘beliefs’. Beliefs are usually formed at a young age, but may also be embraced at a later time in life through powerful experiences or events. Whilst beliefs can offer security and comfort, some beliefs become mental boundaries, thereby preventing you from going beyond the sameness of your thoughts. When this occurs, you are unable to expand your consciousness to incorporate new ideas and new ways of thinking into your life, thus preventing you from moving forward and evolving the person you are.
Identifying your own personal boundaries is not always easy. Denial is always on ‘stand-by’, ready to step in when you feel unsure about making changes to your life. It acts like your best friend who is looking after your interests, but in fact it is a destructive element when your life is at a standstill and you’re going nowhere fast.
So don’t listen to denial, but listen to reason. If you believe you need to live life differently, and want to go beyond your own personal boundaries, then take that first step. Be honest. Ask yourself this question … Do you have boundaries you need to cross so you can live the life you deserve?
Boundaries have the power to keep you on a cycle of sameness. This is often seen with people who want to break free of relationships, change their career, overcome their financial problems, or want a completely different type of life than the one they have. However, they often feel powerless to make the necessary changes. What they may not realize is they do not need to change the problem, but they need to go beyond their acceptance of the outcome. This can be done by recognizing their self-imposed boundary, and taking steps to go beyond it.
When your identity is so closely linked to your personal boundaries, you may feel unsure about disengaging from these boundaries. For boundaries can be like an old friend. Someone who’s always been there for you. Someone you can depend upon, but also someone who doesn’t want you to change and grow away from them.
Some old friends can stay with us, happily, for all of our lives, whilst other old friends have been out-grown and are no longer needed or wanted. So think of your boundaries in the same way. Keep the ones you still need, and let go of the ones you don’t.
When you feel an overwhelming attachment to a personal boundary, then you’re really not ready to let it go and move past it. It is there because you still have a need for it, and it’s simply a matter of time, or a matter of changeability within yourself that will bring a need to let go of that attachment. On the other hand, if you really want a different type of life, then take a leap of faith .. beyond your boundaries. It just might be the best thing you have ever done.
Blog written by Diane Swaffield. Read with love by Jason, in dedication and inspired memory of Diane.
If you would like to take a further step towards creating the life you want, and the future you deserve, I have created a Program titled ‘Creating the Future you want‘, which is available under the Mind Travel section of The Journey Home website. This program will take you on a personal journey, mind travelling forward in time to view and experience your ‘most likely future’. You will then travel back in time to heal your past, become empowered to make change, then experience a guided Mind Travel exercise to create and experience your ‘new future’.